Kyle Maxwell

2009-09-23

She gets to like science too!

Filed under: Personal — Tags: , , , , — Kyle Maxwell @ 17:20

I never really paid much attention to gender education issues when I was younger. I am a middle-class white American male who did well in a more-or-less traditional educational environment: public school, test-driven, math and language centric, lots of memorization and analysis. Other than going to a science magnet school and no racial segregation, most of my education followed the same pattern as that of, say, the 1950s. Mostly, at any rate.

Then I had a daughter, and everything changed.

So today she starts in a new school in a new suburb. The teacher seems really sweet, the kids are friendly, everything looks great. This week they’re learning about the letter “D”, so the teacher assigns them things to bring on Friday that start with that letter. So far, so good…

…except that it’s “girls bring dolls and boys bring dinosaurs.

What century do these people live in?

So girls stay home with the kids while boys get to go out in the world and do science? She can’t like dinosaurs? (For the record, dolls bore my girl to tears. She’d rather play with spaceships or work on her accent imitations.)

I told her to ask the teacher if she could bring a dinosaur instead. If she says no, I’ll go have a calm, friendly word with her. Discrimination? Don’t we have federal laws about this stuff?

When the revolution comes, the boards of education will be the first against the wall.

And if I hear anything like, “good girls must learn to cook and sew because math is hard,” I’m going to blow something up.

RAWR!

2008-06-27

Changing behavior through game design

Filed under: Productivity — Tags: , , , , — Kyle Maxwell @ 11:09

I was going to blather on about how video gaming represents some fundamental shift in how we view our relationships to each other and the world around us – but I don’t think I really need to do that. We’re well into the 21st Century already.

Instead, let’s focus on what can we learn from game design to make us more productive?

What tasks can be turned into a game?

  • Parenting: Mary Poppins did this years ago, turning dreary tasks into something more enjoyable.
  • Breaking a habit (caffeine) or creating one (exercise) is largely about changing how we perceive the rewards for our behavior.
  • IT security, such as patch management, need not be some boring exercise in check lists and threatening emails about being out of compliance. Turn it into a properly-structured competition.

Relevant game design elements

Anyone who’s ever played Civilization (“one more turn then I’ll go to bed”) or done a grind in a MMORPG (one more level) knows how important constant, low-level feedback can be for a game. Small, frequent rewards do much more to motivate us and teach new behaviors than large, infrequent rewards. It’s easier to work through something knowing you’re only five minutes away from some small reward than it is knowing you’re six months away from a large one.

Competition is a key element as well This can be either players competing against themselves if it’s not appropriate or helpful to encourage it with others, in the sense of trying to beat their own personal bests or try to achieve some set goal. Of course competing against others — which department can achieve the highest compliance rates this month? — is also often a great motivator.

Successful games often encourage emergent play: can players find novel unintended new strategies? This isn’t to encourage cheating, but to find ways to be much more effective within the rules but not necessarily as originally envisioned. If you’ve ever seen a tank rush, this is exactly the sort of behavior that I mean.

Example: Child doing chores.

First, consider the goals and particular circumstances, both of the desired behavior and of the “players” involved. If you want your child learn to take care of herself and her belonging, a game might be appropriate. But simultaneously, how do you instill a sense of responsibility and not just turn everything into a bribe?

Assign daily and weekly chores appropriate to her age and ability. Set up a chart indicating her progress. (This is not new, obviously.) But here’s the trick:she must achieve a certain threshold to avoid negative consequences, and gets additional rewards for exceeding that threshold. Maybe she accumulates points above that threshold and can turn them in, either small amounts for small rewards or larger amounts for larger rewards. Think about arcades where players get tickets and can get anything from candy to soccer balls.

Games are so prevalent in our society that the basic ideas should almost be second nature to us now. Leveraging what we’ve already learned from them into modifying or creating positive new behaviors is a wonderful way to lead healthier, more fulfilling and productive lives.

2008-06-26

New books I’ve ordered

Filed under: Personal — Tags: , , , , — Kyle Maxwell @ 11:16

These are supposed to arrive this Monday from Amazon.com:

Rollback by Robert J. Sawyer: I read parts of this when it was serialized but not the whole thing. It was touching and explored some interesting social and scientific issues.

Coyote by Allen Steele: Some other stories in this universe have been really interesting so I want to get started from the beginning of it.

X Saves the World: How Generation X Got the Shaft but Can Still Keep Everything from Sucking by Jeff Gordinier: The author was on Think (a local public radio talk show) and this sounded like something really interesting.

A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano: Recommended by my doctor.

2008-06-25

Fatherhood is doable

Filed under: Family — Tags: , , — Kyle Maxwell @ 21:55

Many TV sitcoms and animated shows continue to portray dads as dolts or, at best, well-meaning but misguided large children whose wives have to mother them as well as their offspring.

Nice article entitled Fathering in America: What’s a Dad Supposed to Do?. A few of the points that really stood out to me personally:

  • Embrace your responsibility
  • Be there throughout their childhoods
  • Balance discipline with fun
  • Be a role model of adult manhood

There’s more and it’s worth reading. But what really spoke to me was the quote at the beginning of this post. Popular culture has absorbed feminist values and turned them into something grotesque and extreme. Women and wives and mothers are to be valued just as much as men and husbands and fathers in our society — and make no mistake, they certainly should be. But doing that at the expense of either group demeans both, as if the only way one can have value is if the other cannot.

The reality is that despite what the 24-hour news cycle would have us believe, truly horrible fathers are aberrations. And even though there are a lot of other not-so-great dads (for various degrees of that adjective), I believe that most of us are doing like our own fathers and grandfathers: going from one day to the next, trying to do the best we can to give our children the best start we know how. And for those out there who are thinking about becoming dads, or soon will be, or recently became them, listen to me:

You’ll be fine.

You don’t know what to do? So what? Neither did our dads at first. But from the moment you start taking care of that child, you’ll be trying as hard as you’ve tried at anything. If there’s anything in life at which you’ve succeeded, then you can be a father, because you have the tools and you have the ability.

2008-06-18

Kevin going to sleep

Filed under: Family — Tags: , , , — Kyle Maxwell @ 08:45

Lately, we’ve been having trouble getting Lily to go to bed by herself. She cries and cries for Niky to go sleep in her bed, then gets up during the night. This has been a source of a lot of stress for all of us, and is tied in to some other issues with Lily’s behavior (keeping in mind her age).

So on expert advice, we explained to her that she could not come into our room, and that once she was in bed, we were doing the same and locking our door. Of course, we weren’t going to sleep yet. We wanted to listen, see how she reacted, and respond accordingly as needed.

Surprisingly, she did really well with that last night. Not perfectly, but much better than previous nights. This was probably also due to the fact that she won’t be allowed to go to the park with her aunt on Sunday unless she starts handling bed time better.

The most surprising bit was Kevin. He really lost it. He got up and wanted to come in, and we were struggling with what to do. He’s much smaller, of course, but he’s been “learning” from his sister and becoming unwilling to go to bed without Niky. So we’d occasionally answer him through the door, but mostly let him cry it out.

During his crying, he was doing anything he could imagine to get us to come with him. Asking for The Wiggles, asking for milk, telling us he loved us, putting a flyswatter under the door, saying he wanted a bath, etc. Several times we heard him walk off for a bit, then come back, and once or twice we checked on him because we wanted to make sure he wasn’t causing more problems (like breaking things). But then he pulled something that just broke our hearts.

He went into the living room, grabbed two family photos (one of him and his sister and another of his parents and sister) and pushed them under the door. That did it. Maybe it wasn’t what the doctor ordered, but we calmed him down and I laid down in his bed for a while until he went to sleep.

Tonight, we’ll have to figure something out.

Blog at WordPress.com.